this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
