he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
