Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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