I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize