I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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