Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
