I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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