absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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