Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
