Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
