but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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