For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
