we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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