so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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