I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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