Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If that was your dad, he is hot
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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