Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
someone owes me an orgasm
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
