It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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