Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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