how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
