fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
