i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
