We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
