I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
