dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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