After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
