And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
