My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about my life...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
