Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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