His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize