So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
