You work out of a Hotel?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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