My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
