Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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