Will you blow on my dice?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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