how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
