You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think my moral compass just broke
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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