he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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