As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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