You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
