You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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