My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
