i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
