ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
