I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
As shirtless as possible
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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