she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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