i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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