so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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