I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
