I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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