R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I look better un-naked...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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