I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
