Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
