Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
