i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
