what if every blade of grass was a penis?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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