hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize